A Sense of an Ending

You won’t be having those talks anymore!!

The rub of a skin…. The twitchy eyes…. The small smiles…. The unending laughs…. The small talks… The soft touch on your head…. The kiss on your forehead that says ‘it’s all going to be okay’… the tear drops…. The frustrated shout… the screaming apologies…the coming together at the end!

It sometime feels like an end of an era….

Not seeing those faces not doing those things again leaves a hollow in your heart….It’s like a part of you died and its ashes are stored in a little corner of your heart…

Sometimes in life you meet people you don’t want to let go but you have to….

From the people you meet in life you learn so much….

Being selfish and being selfless…. Finding you passion…. Finding your own voice and learning saying no sometimes is good….

Knowing how people judge you by the things you own and also knowing that material thing don’t make everyone like you…

To know how education doesn't mean knowledge and how the deepest truths of the world can come from the most unlikely person….  

To know how friendship also means unconditional love and also how relationships turn sour with one wrong word and then never taken back…

To know it’s fine to learn things by yourself and to learn from other people’s mistakes too….

You learn how once in a while trusting a stranger can teach you abundance and the best of friends can tear your soul apart….

How you are your best judge and companion, and reaching for help from others will make you go weak…

To know sometimes long lost friend can come to your rescue and teach you self worth….

How sometimes for other people's good you need to be bad and be the culprit….

How sometimes being vulnerable is not so bad… it’s better to make mistakes right now and not cry in the future for not making any mistakes…

To go travel and see places you never saw with your companions eyes and find a whole new world!

Knowing how cooking for someone else can be the high light of your day…

To know how one dance can change your life forever and one word can induce a new life in you…

How sometimes bad words are the best for you… and those sarcastic nice words take you to your death bed…

How LOVE exists in numerous uncountable tangents and that’s what makes the world go round….

It’s funny how a small section of your life makes such an undying impact on you…. That all your life experiences feel short….

This sense of an ending is takes your sleep and make your chest grow apart from your body….

You wish this experience never ended...

But at every moment of your life, with every new person you meet, with everything new thing you eat, with every new place you visit…. You lose yourself and you gain a new self…

This sense of an ending marks a growing change…. and its okay for things to end to mark a new beginning!

Rain in your Eyes

There is a time when you cant stop the rain in your eyes....
It's the feeling of a crash without any one else getting hurt and no blood...
When you see in the mirror you just see a person who is not sad but 'UNHAPPY'...
It's because after living and reliving failure..
After staring and re-starting...
After trying and re-trying...
You can't take it anymore and you see black clouds in your eyes that cause that rain...
No one can understand it... yes NO ONE!

JUMP!!

I was scared to take the plunge for a long time;
I could see the demons crawling on me and shouting at me, to do it;
I was still scared but i was tired of people screaming,
There were voices that kept me awake all night.

I went to the devil's advocate to get some answers,
Was he with me? He wanted me to dive to jump,
But he wanted me to come out or he wanted to me drown?
I asked him and he laughed, he shrieked of joy,
What was I thinking? He is the part of 'the' devils fraternity.

He pushed me more towards the diseases that may come with the plunge
He wanted me to take a plunge!
He was feeding on the fear he was imposing on me,
But, I was prepared for the plunge,
I now fear no-one and nothing.
If I have committed a mistake, I shall bear its fruit
I am ready, and I now jump in the unending black hole not wanting to stop!

Gone

Her hands were shaking out of shear anger...
She just fell down trembling... she is angry on her
The doctor says she had a seizure... no medical history just over thinking
She was taken to the OR, after an injection of the faint medicine still the doctors say she was moving
She had goose bumps on her skin and her face was moving and her lips flabbering....

She was fine and she was lying on her bed half conscious
crying out apologies and wishes simultaneously
she was fine but it felt the devil was calling for her and only she knew
there was a name, everyone heard it out loud Greg, then ma, pa, Sophie, john...
everyone was there... they saw her crying in her sleep
they heard wiered apologies of breaking friendships, unmet promises, wedding bells, crazy travels
then they heard wishes for newly weds, good fortune, life partners, prosperity

Her BP was normal, no internal bleeding but her face aged 20 years in past 12 hours
Her veins popping blue, her heart throbbing 100 beat per second, her hair white
a girl of 22 and words of a woman who has lived for 70 years.
The mother came and said to the doctor she is fine all her tests, why she looks so exhausted
shock ma'am, eternal shock... no value of life anymore.

bidding a good bye to every one she loves and the ones whom she hates
only good words out of her mouth and apologies for if she has hurt someone in life
and she went not realizing what she thought was worthless, left behind a lifetime if sadness for many people. her life!!

Still....

With every passing minute the time seems to be going back,

It's like nothing has been learnt so far.

You still trust the same people who had made a fool of you,

You still commit the same mistakes,

You still expect from people who never did you good,

You still become too ambitious and hard on yourself,

You still fall in love after being held to ground,

You still are friends with people who cussed you,

You still dream of the sky and forget to enjoy Earth,

You still think about the future and loose the present,

You still cry on what you never achieved, but you never worked for it,

You still let people make you feel inferior,

You still let people take you for granted as you cant change your heart,

You still compare yourself to the people above you, but you forget you are better than many,

You still crave to meet new people and make new friends, forgetting the one existing in your life,

You urge to get a companion, not knowing the only companion for you is you,

You still talk and you do nothing- a hypocrite,

What you learnt goes backwards, whats the point of growing anyways.