JUMP!!

I was scared to take the plunge for a long time;
I could see the demons crawling on me and shouting at me, to do it;
I was still scared but i was tired of people screaming,
There were voices that kept me awake all night.

I went to the devil's advocate to get some answers,
Was he with me? He wanted me to dive to jump,
But he wanted me to come out or he wanted to me drown?
I asked him and he laughed, he shrieked of joy,
What was I thinking? He is the part of 'the' devils fraternity.

He pushed me more towards the diseases that may come with the plunge
He wanted me to take a plunge!
He was feeding on the fear he was imposing on me,
But, I was prepared for the plunge,
I now fear no-one and nothing.
If I have committed a mistake, I shall bear its fruit
I am ready, and I now jump in the unending black hole not wanting to stop!

Gone

Her hands were shaking out of shear anger...
She just fell down trembling... she is angry on her
The doctor says she had a seizure... no medical history just over thinking
She was taken to the OR, after an injection of the faint medicine still the doctors say she was moving
She had goose bumps on her skin and her face was moving and her lips flabbering....

She was fine and she was lying on her bed half conscious
crying out apologies and wishes simultaneously
she was fine but it felt the devil was calling for her and only she knew
there was a name, everyone heard it out loud Greg, then ma, pa, Sophie, john...
everyone was there... they saw her crying in her sleep
they heard wiered apologies of breaking friendships, unmet promises, wedding bells, crazy travels
then they heard wishes for newly weds, good fortune, life partners, prosperity

Her BP was normal, no internal bleeding but her face aged 20 years in past 12 hours
Her veins popping blue, her heart throbbing 100 beat per second, her hair white
a girl of 22 and words of a woman who has lived for 70 years.
The mother came and said to the doctor she is fine all her tests, why she looks so exhausted
shock ma'am, eternal shock... no value of life anymore.

bidding a good bye to every one she loves and the ones whom she hates
only good words out of her mouth and apologies for if she has hurt someone in life
and she went not realizing what she thought was worthless, left behind a lifetime if sadness for many people. her life!!

Still....

With every passing minute the time seems to be going back,

It's like nothing has been learnt so far.

You still trust the same people who had made a fool of you,

You still commit the same mistakes,

You still expect from people who never did you good,

You still become too ambitious and hard on yourself,

You still fall in love after being held to ground,

You still are friends with people who cussed you,

You still dream of the sky and forget to enjoy Earth,

You still think about the future and loose the present,

You still cry on what you never achieved, but you never worked for it,

You still let people make you feel inferior,

You still let people take you for granted as you cant change your heart,

You still compare yourself to the people above you, but you forget you are better than many,

You still crave to meet new people and make new friends, forgetting the one existing in your life,

You urge to get a companion, not knowing the only companion for you is you,

You still talk and you do nothing- a hypocrite,

What you learnt goes backwards, whats the point of growing anyways.

Scars

Burned to the core... with every word with every action with every second
Still the craving for more
Lost are the words when people say' learn from your mistakes'
At a level you burn because you like it, it doesn't hurt anymore
until its too late and the scars stay!

The tears wet the eyes, soaking the seas of sorrow
unending black 'w'hole of hollowness and emptiness
eyes red not of hatred but of agony for making a mistake when the result stood affront all the time
sometimes desire and passion blocks your conscious
until its too late and the scars stay!

Second turns to minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades
the pain still remains not as much as it was, as time is a good healer
what remains are the great memories and a thought
what if it was the wrong decision, if it wasn't taken would life be better
here is the time to control the emotions,
or the scars will never go!

'SWEET NOTHING'

I stumbled upon a song while a random song search, it was surely a sweet surprise. I am not big a fan of both the artists Calvin Harris and Florence Welch, but their single 'Sweet Nothing' is surely something. But this time we will take a totally opposite route to understand a broken heart. Its about not the person whose heart gets broken its about the dilemma and pain of the person who brakes the heart (the culprit in many eyes).

A breakup is so easy for the person who gets dumped, its like 'Oh!! chuck it s/he is unlucky not to have me. Whats my fault they were demanding and they didn't like me; I wasn't the one who dumped them. I am the nice person here.' They get all the sympathy and the one who dumps take all the toll and half the people don't know why the dumper took that decision, and maybe the dumper was right this time.

'Sweet Nothing' describes the hollowness and the pain of the so called dumper. Well dumper is a relatively new term so please recognize it as the one who dumps their signification other and the dumped not used as a action word is also used as describing the dumped significant other.

Sweet nothing is the term used for the most bitter taste in the world. When the dumper dumps the dumped, it may seem that they did it for the better or they were happy making that decision. This is an absolutely wrong thing to say!!! The dumper is always in the dilemma if s/he made the right decisions. The past passions haunt the dumper and sometimes the good does get heavier then the bad. Then What??? Can the dumper go back but they can't. The sweet nothing implies that the dumper dumped for the better, but the dumper doesn't know what they are actually feeling. They are sad and they don't trust anyone. They can't tell anyone how they feel because no one sees them as a victim and always treat them as the one who betrayed. 
These thoughts suffocates you much, you feel like your heart is chewed by a roaring bear, trying to pound out even a seconds heart beat left in it. With these 5 words that said 'we can't be together anymore' the dumpers life comes to an end. It makes you feel hollow with whispers my fragments of your soul saying you are making this decision wrong and fast. With such a trauma even atheist would start praying to an element in the periodical table like to Lord Manganese. Putting your faith on something someone unknown helps you not to blame yourself, for felling that nothingness that embodies your eyes. It becomes hard to learn from your mistakes and it becomes harder to love again. The dumped doesn't put any blame on him/herself so its easy for them to move one while the dumper sulks in its own glory, ego, decision and wants.

For the dumper its tougher to let things go and not the dumped. The dumper takes in all the abuses, curses and blames of the dumped- thinking that its their fault and not the dumped. This makes them feel more chocked and insecure. This makes them feel hung as they haven't taken out their true feelings. This feeling of being in a cage of thoughts eats away their heart. The dumpers heart is always empty, un-learned, not understood and hence in more pain.

This songs goes to all the people on the other side of the relationship. Enjoy the song!!