Scars

Burned to the core... with every word with every action with every second
Still the craving for more
Lost are the words when people say' learn from your mistakes'
At a level you burn because you like it, it doesn't hurt anymore
until its too late and the scars stay!

The tears wet the eyes, soaking the seas of sorrow
unending black 'w'hole of hollowness and emptiness
eyes red not of hatred but of agony for making a mistake when the result stood affront all the time
sometimes desire and passion blocks your conscious
until its too late and the scars stay!

Second turns to minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades
the pain still remains not as much as it was, as time is a good healer
what remains are the great memories and a thought
what if it was the wrong decision, if it wasn't taken would life be better
here is the time to control the emotions,
or the scars will never go!

'SWEET NOTHING'

I stumbled upon a song while a random song search, it was surely a sweet surprise. I am not big a fan of both the artists Calvin Harris and Florence Welch, but their single 'Sweet Nothing' is surely something. But this time we will take a totally opposite route to understand a broken heart. Its about not the person whose heart gets broken its about the dilemma and pain of the person who brakes the heart (the culprit in many eyes).

A breakup is so easy for the person who gets dumped, its like 'Oh!! chuck it s/he is unlucky not to have me. Whats my fault they were demanding and they didn't like me; I wasn't the one who dumped them. I am the nice person here.' They get all the sympathy and the one who dumps take all the toll and half the people don't know why the dumper took that decision, and maybe the dumper was right this time.

'Sweet Nothing' describes the hollowness and the pain of the so called dumper. Well dumper is a relatively new term so please recognize it as the one who dumps their signification other and the dumped not used as a action word is also used as describing the dumped significant other.

Sweet nothing is the term used for the most bitter taste in the world. When the dumper dumps the dumped, it may seem that they did it for the better or they were happy making that decision. This is an absolutely wrong thing to say!!! The dumper is always in the dilemma if s/he made the right decisions. The past passions haunt the dumper and sometimes the good does get heavier then the bad. Then What??? Can the dumper go back but they can't. The sweet nothing implies that the dumper dumped for the better, but the dumper doesn't know what they are actually feeling. They are sad and they don't trust anyone. They can't tell anyone how they feel because no one sees them as a victim and always treat them as the one who betrayed. 
These thoughts suffocates you much, you feel like your heart is chewed by a roaring bear, trying to pound out even a seconds heart beat left in it. With these 5 words that said 'we can't be together anymore' the dumpers life comes to an end. It makes you feel hollow with whispers my fragments of your soul saying you are making this decision wrong and fast. With such a trauma even atheist would start praying to an element in the periodical table like to Lord Manganese. Putting your faith on something someone unknown helps you not to blame yourself, for felling that nothingness that embodies your eyes. It becomes hard to learn from your mistakes and it becomes harder to love again. The dumped doesn't put any blame on him/herself so its easy for them to move one while the dumper sulks in its own glory, ego, decision and wants.

For the dumper its tougher to let things go and not the dumped. The dumper takes in all the abuses, curses and blames of the dumped- thinking that its their fault and not the dumped. This makes them feel more chocked and insecure. This makes them feel hung as they haven't taken out their true feelings. This feeling of being in a cage of thoughts eats away their heart. The dumpers heart is always empty, un-learned, not understood and hence in more pain.

This songs goes to all the people on the other side of the relationship. Enjoy the song!!

Nai subah ki koshish

Dekhte hi dekhte asmaan peela padh gaya

Jab dekha dhyaan se to vo meri parchai thi
Dekhte hi dekhte paani ka rang laal ho gaya
Jab dekha dhyaan se to vo meri tanhai thi

Jab dekha khud ko ayine main to sulakh ke palke zameen pe giri
Gaalon ne mere aasuon ko sahara dene se mana kar dia
Mere hathon ne meri chaati ko peetne se mana kar dia
Mere peron ne mere shareer ko thikana na dia
Mera shareer dhabak apni zameen to talashne niche gira

Azaadi dene se mere bhagwaan ne usse mana kar dia
Mere paas jaane ko kahin nahi
Maine bhi ye sochna chorr
Zindagi jeene ka rasta dhundana shuru kar diya!!
 

ALL THE ROWBOATS.... Regina Spektor

I just don't know when I was this addicted to a song... I have kept this song on my phones repeat and repeat list. From getting up in the morning putting the head phones in my ears and going got the loo to playing it while traveling to office to putting it on while working to sharing to every person i know with a decent taste of music and again sleeping with this song not only in my ears but in my heart.

The song may be released in 2011 the so called modern era of pop, rap and R & B, but it represents Neoclassicism. When Aristotle said tragedy is the only true form of Literature he was right. It’s like Regina studied a lot of Dante, Shakespeare, Wilde, and Coleridge before writing this piece.

  

The album's name is 'what we saw form the cheap seats', well I don't think they were cheap but surely were intelligent. In this song Regina brings a meaning alive of the clichéd framed picture that everyone in this world owns or have tried their hands on imitating that frame- the frames of row boats in the sea lonely and quite waiting for someone to set them free.

Regina has painted a picture that of row boats that want to row away but are struck. Its equal to the shackles that society has built for us and like the boats in gold frames the society has also glorified those shackles and given them the name of life or societal norms. And enforced these norms on us n the way that we think a thousand time to even think to try break them, like the row boats keep trying but can’t get their way so do we.

Then she talks about sculptures that are present in a glorified form in front of us to touch to feel and to be in awe of their perfection. She tells how violins are the instrument of the classy and its music is one of a kind. So to save it they shut it in glass coffins and they want to come out but they can’t as they are too precious and like this they cough till the want of their freedom dies within them. We as humans are the same. We work and we work hard to achieve being the best in the world that we leave friends, family and life behind. But when we achieve something we are put in boxes by people who we were trying to leave behind. They put us in frames try to seek perfection in us and to satisfy their hunger we turn to what we are not. We cough on the unrealistic expectations on us and finally we die in the hole created by us for our survival. How the people who are famous are the ones who are the loneliest. We become famous to gather praise and friends but the ironic part is when we get fame we lose trust and hence lose any close human relationship.

In the end all these lively things with a purpose end with explanatory sentences on their tombstones in the museums, that say how great they are but they themselves know that they never lived to their potential as they never fought back to break those shackles.

Enjoy the song as I have:  :)

Change- The thin line between cowardice and Fear

It just invokes curiosity in me how people change when they get a relationship. You one just completely changes for the greater good of their significant other- even if they turn completely unhappy which eventually backfires and you will get into more fights, more sobs, which you release finally is not worth it.
But!!!! a big but (BUTT) you will still stick to them come what may, in the most vehement way with a never ending confusion in your mind of not how to resolve the problem but if you leave this person with you right now, will you get another in time and will they accept you.

The thin line that called chnage the small babay step we need to take towards happiness is not easy. Th reason behind it??? its our cowardice which we hide in the sense of self pity and we term as being fearful to loose the person. The truth is we just don't want to break the routine we are addicted to. The Industrial Revolution has made our life so monotonous that we have nothing to do in life but to go to office and come back home, on the weekends seeing a movie or roaming around in the mall makes us feel complete which is utter nonsense. This kind of lifestyle has actually ruined our generation and our future is no less then hell, but as we say 'jab tak chalta hai chalate jao'.This is the reason change scares us even if we are unhappy in our current situation.
We are in habit of the same person day in and day out, who is self trained to our likes, dislikes and routines. We are scared of letting a new person in, the questions arises- What is the new person is a weirdo? what if this person is totally different fro me? (hello if the current wasn't you wouldn't be thinking about another person on the first place) What if the person totally dislikes me if he knows the real me? (WOW... this one is a keeper for you have no self esteem). The result of this cowardice is- a) a drawer full on medicines for cold, cough, fever, cervical, migraine pains. b) Washing machine full of dirty towels and hankies of long lasting sobbing and phlegm.
The problem is we ourselves are the one who like to cry and crib and like to be dictated. We our sick of making life decision, we are sick of heading towards a new direction failing and coming back that we left all hope. So when a person tell us to do this and to do that we have a hollow sense of achievement after getting the fake pat on out back.